Kutti Krishnan

 

(kutti means small, in south Indian context – Kutti also stands for a girl)

There is viagara, palang thod paan, and then Kutti Krishna.

How did he get this name? 

That’s, what this story is all about.

 

March 21^, 2020, the lockdown was announced. Krishna is a barber. In the small town of Madavarm, Chennai, Krishna had a saloon. When the lockdown was announced his life changed. There was no income. His busy life was empty. He sat on his chair, looked into the mirror, and adjusted his blond hair. He had to look weird to get customers. That's how the saloon business worked.  But, with no money and lots of time in his hand, he wanted to take advantage of this situation and make money.

Reluctantly wearing his mask, Krishna sanitized his entire shop and went for a walk. He had a special spot where he could see all the tall buildings. He always looked up to them for stories. Because every story, involves characters and every character likes to look good.

 

He sat there and started looking at a tall building. Between all the spectacles, he saw one particular patio where a couple was silent. The husband was his customer Karthik and the wife was also his customer, Neha. They were just married a few weeks back and something was not right. He came back to his store and called karthik.

Krishna  - Hello sir!

Karthik – Hi kriss!

Krishna – Sir, your beard is longer than usual!

Karthik – What? How do you know?

Krishna – I know sir!

Karthik – It’s ok yar. Time to be devdass!

Krishna – Sir, what happened?

KarthiK – Kriss, leave it.

Krishna – I can fix it sir.

Karthik- What? How?

Krishna – Believe me, sir. Meet me at the store after 10 PM.

Karthiki with a confusing expression says – OK!

 

 

After 10 pm Karthik left his apartment and stood in front of Krishnan’s saloon. He called him and the line was busy. Suddenly, he opened the shutter halfway and called him inside. Karthik with an embarrassing reaction swallowed his pride and entered in. Suddenly, Krishnan stopped him and said – Sir, time to clean your problems!

He sprayed an alcohol-based vapor on Karthik. Karthik removed his mask and asked Krishna- Kriss, do you know my problem?

Kriss – Yes sir! 

Karthik – What? How?

Kriss – Performance pressure?

Stress from work from home? 

Are these affecting your brother to stand up?

Angry wife?

Karthik looked down and looked back at Krishna and said – Yes!

Krishna –let me help you, sir!

Karthik was still confused about the fact that how Krishnan knew about all these and gave a sheepish smile to Krishnan.  But, Krishnan was smart; his experience in interacting with the client taught him well. And the other dark fact is, Krishnan has seen many dark areas of his customers. In his initial stages, he had to cut the hair from the dark areas of his customers. Sometimes under their arms and sometimes below the pelvic area, this experience combined with their personal information helped him to get extra money.

First, he made Karthik sit on a chair and started head massaging. In the background, he played subtle jazz music.

Krishnan – Sir, do you know about the Vedas?

Katthik with a drowsy tone replies – Yes, why?

Krishnan – There is Rig veda, yajur Veda,Sama Vda and Ayurveda!

And what I am going to do to you is Ayurveda now. It’s 100% natural.

Karthik got comfortable and said – Ok. 

Quickly after his head massage, Krishna handed him a green tea. Katthik’s eyes were still closed. But, he was enjoying the tea.

After the tea, Krishna switched off the normal lights and switched on a red light. Karthik opened his eyes and got a little scared looking at this ambiance - Kriss, what are you going to do?

Karthik – Sir, today I am going to do my sutra for you.

For a moment Krishna got panicked and asked – What?

Krishna – Don’t worry sir, it’s 100% natural.

With a scared tone, Karthik replied – ok!

Krishna – Now, tell me, sir, what does your wife like.

Karthik thinks hard and says – She likes …Amitabh bachan!

Krishna – Ok sir, now open the gates.

Karthik, closed his face with his palm and his pants fell. Krishna picked a scissor and a knife and said – Let’s see kaun banega karrorpati?

Everything is dark. All Karthik could hear was the sound effects of scissors and knives. After few minutes Krishna said – Sir, it’s done.

Karthik opened his eyes and looked down and got surprised.

Karthik – Oh wow!

Krishnan – Time to be a crorepati sir! Your kutti problem is fixed.

 Krishna quickly pulled his pants up, handed over solid cash to Krishnan, and left.

Next day –

Krishna was sitting on his spot and looking over the buildings. Now, surprisingly, he could spot Mr. Karthik intimate with his wife. He smiled looking at them and left.

 

Exactly after 10 Pm, Krishna came out of his store and tried to shut his shutter. Suddenly he noticed 2-3 men standing outside his shop.

One of the men approached him and said – Krishna, I have a Kutti problem. Can you help me?

Krishna got surprised and opened his shutter again.

From that day, Krishnan became Kutti Krishna.