Sanjay - Can I sleep with you tonight daddy?
Dad - Sanju, you are 12 now. You should face your fears now.
Sanjay - But, Dad, I think I have Nyctophobia.
Sanjay’s dad stood up, took his hands, and walked inside his room. As soon as they walked, Sanjay closed his eyes. His Dad switched on the lights and pointed his hands at the window. There was an old wooden frame with cracks on the slides and steel bars between them, The window was as old as his dad.
Dad- Sanju, it's just a window.
Sanjay - But, Dad, in the night it moves.
Dad - Shhh!
Let me tell you a technique.
He took Sanju to the bed, made him lie down, and wrapped him with a bedsheet.
Dad - This bed sheet is a super shield. Just close yourself with this and nothing can reach you.
And what is Nyctophobia?
Sanjay stammered a bit and said - Fear of windows in the night!
Dad -Great, when other kids play ludo, you keep reading about weird stuff. Give me your phone Sanju.
Sanju remained silent. His dad kept on staring at him to make a move. The cold stare was scarier than the window. Sanju slid his hand behind his pillow and took out his smartphone. His dad snatched it from him and walked away. While walking away he switched off the light and closed the door. Immediately Sanjay pulled his blanket and closed his face. It was the window that scared him. It was a face. Whenever he sees a square frame with a hollow space in between it, a face conjures up and keeps on staring at him.
Though Sanjay closed the blankets, an ominous feeling filled his lungs. His breathing grew heavy. He clenched the bottom end of the bedsheet with his toe fingers and pulled the top end tighter to himself. In the small dark zone, a faint streak of light fell on the blanket. Sanjay opened his eyes and saw the hazy golden light. The old wooden frame made a feeble noise. Sanjay was scared but still curious. He slowly opened his blanket and saw the window. From a distance, through the window, he could see a shadow of an old lady. Gradually the shadow grew and an outline of the old lady and a part of her face was visible. She had a huge sharp hand and a massive body. Her face was red and had lots of wrinkles.
Sanjay’s eyes widened, jaw dropped. He couldn't move. A weird chill ran through his spine and tingled his ears. Small ants started crawling out of the window. Within a few minutes, a swarm of ants gathers on his bed. Sanju felt helpless and he couldn’t move in the shock. His entire body was trembling in fear. Tears started to come out of his eyes. Suddenly the advancement of the ants stopped. He continued crying and stretched and pushed himself back. Seeing this the ants went back. The old lady stopped smiling and started going back. After a few minutes, the window became empty and Sanju was alone. The Golden light disappeared and darkness filled in the space again. Sanju quickly ran and closed the window. Without looking back, he jumped on his bed and closed his face with the bedsheet.
We all had a creepy face in our childhood. Sometimes it appears when we have to go to the terrace in the night, appears in the bathroom when we have to switch off the lights, and even peeks from the bottom of our bed. This phase and face disappear when we get the taste of adulthood. But, for Sanjay, this phobia never left. He re-lived this moment every day and every night till he became 22. In those ten years, several things changed. By day Sanjay was a fun-loving character and adored by all. By night he becomes a person who is not reachable to others. He never goes to anyone's house at night. Even if he has to meet someone during unavoidable circumstances, he sleeps in the hall or sleeps with a company. A small window and a face were deeply printed in his mind’s frame horrifyingly. In his small world, there are a few who have witnessed his condition. They believe he just has a phobia for windows and ants. No one knew about the scary old lady who stares at him for hours.
This habit and lifestyle continued for a while. Sanju picked up new layers to hide behind at night. Most of his sleepless nights were spent playing games close to his TV, learning something at the laptop, and reading a book. After graduation, he got his first job at 23. When everyone chose a day shift, Sanju deliberately chose a night shift. He continuously tried to focus on something and get completely indulged in work. After a few years, Sanju not only became a workaholic, he also became an alcoholic. Ants and the old lady were never a problem to him. The concept of nights was a problem to him. Subconsciously, a sense of restlessness grew into him over the years. Instead of facing them or sharing them with others, he just kept his stress within his heart and let it grow deeper and heavier. His nocturnal problems made him roam alone in the streets of the city.
His first addiction, the office functioned just for 6 hours. After that, he would roam the streets of his city like a night owl. When his legs became heavy, he would stop walking and settle down at a shady corner to open his Mary. Mary was a small flask that had alcohol. It knew how to retrain warmth when he wanted a strong dose and cold when he wanted a light one. After finishing his Mary, Sanjay would book a cab, reach his home, and crash on his couch. The next day, when he wakes up at noon, he would always witness that his shoes would have been removed from his feet and he would have been covered by a blanket. He places a 100 rupee note on the desk and writes a thank you note for his maid every day.
In Between this chaotic pattern, during the day times, during sober times, Sanjay sits alone and tries to reflect upon his actions but as soon as the sun and the light go down, the darkness and his restlessness surface up. And the crazy cycle repeats.
On a usual mundane Monday night, Sanjay had to stay home and it was a complete lockdown on the street because of government orders. Sanjay kept staring at the clock. The seconds moved prominently with every second. Sanjay’s eyes were tracking the needle in a clockwise motion. Almost after an hour, the bell rang 12 times. He wore his shoes and tried to walk out. Suddenly a group of cops threatened him, warned him, and sent him back to his home. He couldn’t do anything. The restlessness increased. He started shaking his legs in irritation. He wanted some activity to keep him busy. He quickly scanned all the books, went through all the game CDs, and couldn’t find anything new. He had finished everything.
Finally out of desperation, he opened his bag and picked up Mary. He opened the flask and tilted it upside down in seconds. Unfortunately, it was empty. He kept the flask aside and scanned his cupboard. All the bottles were empty. Sanjay’s expression changed. He slowly went back and sat on his chair. His hands were shaking and sweat started to trickle down his forehead. He looked around in suspicion. He stood up and slowly approached his bedroom door. In his old room, he could still see the old window. Within a few seconds, he ran towards the bed, grabbed the bedsheet and ran towards the couch, and jumped on it.
After many nights, this was the night where Sanjay stayed sober and free. His empty mind was getting occupied by fear. Sanjay looked around and tried to see if there was anyone around. The compact hallway looked bigger than before. After many years Sanjay felt an uncomfortable familiarity. The space was getting larger by the second. There was a dark hallway in front of him which led to the hallway. A small streak of light grew out from the depth. The streak was trying to reach Sanjay. Sanjay's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Suddenly a flash of many pasts appeared in his mind. Sanjay stood up and went backward. The light kept on following him. In a few seconds, he bumped the wall behind. Luckily, he saw another flask on his nearby shelf. With his shaking hands, he reached the flask and opened it. He opened the flask and emptied it within seconds. He strained his eyes and frowned because of the bitter taste.
The strong dose gave him a quick high. With partial consciousness, Sanjay moved in a zigzag manner and entered his bedroom. He held the tip of his bed and sat on it. After many years, it was the first time he used his bed. To get comfortable, Sanjay adjusted himself and sat properly on the bed. The empty bottle was still in his hand. All the fear and restlessness have completely simmered down.
Sanjay looked at the flask and smiled. His smile became a burst of laughter. He laughed like a maniac for some time and just again toppled the bottle for the last drops. During all these drunk actions, something tingled Sanjay’s legs. He ignored it for a few seconds. Now the sensation increased. He reached out and tried to touch his legs. Something weird was happening. In the darkness, in between the confusion, Sanjay heard the sound of old wood’s screech. He froze. All the high came down. The same hazy golden light appeared. Like a small stream of water, a layer of light illuminated the ants on his legs. Sanjay sat there like a stone. He couldn’t move. He tried hard and moved his hands to check for the bedsheet. But he couldn’t find one. From a distance, he saw his nightmare appearing in front of him again after a long time. The old lady came closer and was standing in front of the bed. Sanjay’s hand trembled in fear. With a lot of effort, he tried to move his hand which had the bottle. He closed his eyes and tried to drink it, but it was empty. A sudden pain struck his hand and he dropped the flask. The ants carried the flask away.
The light started to get brighter and the lady’s image was getting clear. The chillness on the air reduced and Sanjay finally saw a complete image of the old lady. Her hands were fine. It was because of the shadow her body appeared massive. Somehow the state of mental paralysis reduced in Sanjay’s mind. The terrifying smile of the old lady was not scary anymore. He Still went back and leaned on the backrest of the bed. The lady came closer and sat next to Sanjay. Surprisingly she had a pleasant smell like fresh grass. Sanjay was getting comfortable with her. The swarm of ants returned. Sanjay again started to panic and started breathing heavily. The old lady placed her hand on Sanjay’s hand and said - Shhhhh!
The ants brought the bedsheet from the hall and covered Sanjay. Sanjay has never felt this warmth in his life. The old lady hummed a beautiful tune and brushed her right hand through Sanjay’s hair. Sanjay had an ecstatic expression on his face. He was never this satisfied before in his life. The melodious humming sound made him sleep. To the old lady, the youngster appears as the same old kid who cried in the night. When Sanjay’s sleep went deep, the old lady and the ants slowly walked away.
The next day, when the sunlight fell on Sanjay's face, he removed his bedsheet, strained his eyes, and tried to adjust his blurry vision. After a few seconds, he realized that he was still on his couch with the bedsheet. Sanjay got confused. Sanjay stood up, went back to his bedroom, and saw the closed window. The window had a lot of dust on it. This showed that the window was not used for a long time and all these were a dream. He brought some cleaning material and cleaned the window. He opened and it inhaled some fresh air. He slightly went backward and sat on the bed and rubbed his fingers on its soft texture. When his gaze casually moved throughout the room, he saw a huge trail of ants moving in a straight line at the corner of the room. Looking at that, a smile of satisfaction appeared on his face.
No comments:
Post a Comment