The Block

Blockages are like catalyst. It slows you down, hurts you and makes you look back. But, sometimes it stops you from going forward. It makes sure to appear everywhere possible starting from erupting emotions, stubborn statements and even in little gestures. The results are the worst part of it. It gives you nausea where you cannot swallow your feeling nor spit it out. 

When I first met my lady, I avoided eye contact, I took some space and sat away from her. I purposely concentrated on my smart phone giving her a dumb look. She gazed me like an electronic scanner and went away. She might have thought I hated her. But the lame truth was my shyness, not my attitude. The block between us was as big and solid as a boulder. 

What next?

Excuses.

Excuses are really interesting techniques. Just a single sorry can break the ice. I was waiting right outside to make a subtle excuse. With baby steps, she came forward, slowly piercing through other distractions and diversions. Like a poor kid staring at the melting moment of the ice cream cone , I was dumb struck by her. Literally dumb struck. The same flush feeling crept again. Not a single word came out. Like a sound proof stupid, I was air locked. I became an excuse to be ignored by her. 

How will I break the ice now?

Well, if you can’t break the ice, it’s time to drown it with some ethanol. with few shots of C2H5OH I lost all my inhibitions and stepped closer to make my first move. With more ethanol I lost my fear of failure. But, I couldn’t stop it, with more shots I lost my sense of direction and bumped into her. No more ice. No more block. She went to coma with a brain block.