My out of body experience…

Affirmative answers like yes and its ok are just a simple trick to convince our minds temporarily. I have never commanded myself to leave myself in a delusive state. To get the settlement and satisfaction, numbers comes in. Numbers are again a deceptive dilemma which reminds you of your limits and gives you new limitations. And that’s where identity is followed with symbols. Truth and symbolism are like twins. We can never get them directly.  They have their creepy way of crawling to us at failure. How do I understand why I am here?

Every day when I wake up I see two personas in the mirror. One is the bad guy as the definition of bad is what he wants to do. The other is the good guy who wants to be the society’s choice. Whom should I kill? Whom should I win? Sometimes I fell I am all I am and I have the answer with me for everything. The other times are the hard times where I feel I am not even a scratch. Scratching my head, I don’t have anything else to do, except building myself from scratch.

Now, the other confusing conflict here is what’s right and wrong. Subjective opinions survive but 

objective opinion depends upon the neighbouring brains and become an obstacle. Evaluating myself 

inside out, I am left with nothing now. More misunderstanding accumulated when the process 

expanded every day.

The only way to understand this is by silence.

First I got my place set. I sat upright inside a serene sanctum without any disturbance.  I gave some 

affirmative answers to tame my mind to set it free. Now I commanded myself to move outside the body. Suddenly an immense vibration startled my body, my entire physical form got heavy and numb. I couldn’t feel anything. Finally the silence prevailed.

I was floating outside my body. The non-physical form was actually formless. My sight was 360. I was able to sense everything around me throughout my body. Everything was formless. Everything was just levitating around me. No difference at all. Without any thoughts I saw my body lying down. I passed through my washroom door and saw myself on the mirror. Now without a form the vision was meaningless.

I suddenly snapped back to my old self and woke up with a light feeling of pleasure. I did not get my 

answer. But I am sure I got to know the importance of a process and the how to tame my mind both 

inside and out of body.

The Block

Blockages are like catalyst. It slows you down, hurts you and makes you look back. But, sometimes it stops you from going forward. It makes sure to appear everywhere possible starting from erupting emotions, stubborn statements and even in little gestures. The results are the worst part of it. It gives you nausea where you cannot swallow your feeling nor spit it out. 

When I first met my lady, I avoided eye contact, I took some space and sat away from her. I purposely concentrated on my smart phone giving her a dumb look. She gazed me like an electronic scanner and went away. She might have thought I hated her. But the lame truth was my shyness, not my attitude. The block between us was as big and solid as a boulder. 

What next?

Excuses.

Excuses are really interesting techniques. Just a single sorry can break the ice. I was waiting right outside to make a subtle excuse. With baby steps, she came forward, slowly piercing through other distractions and diversions. Like a poor kid staring at the melting moment of the ice cream cone , I was dumb struck by her. Literally dumb struck. The same flush feeling crept again. Not a single word came out. Like a sound proof stupid, I was air locked. I became an excuse to be ignored by her. 

How will I break the ice now?

Well, if you can’t break the ice, it’s time to drown it with some ethanol. with few shots of C2H5OH I lost all my inhibitions and stepped closer to make my first move. With more ethanol I lost my fear of failure. But, I couldn’t stop it, with more shots I lost my sense of direction and bumped into her. No more ice. No more block. She went to coma with a brain block. 

Mind games at Monteria.

"To go or not to go”

The most complex and amazing system live on earth is human brain. Psychologically it knows how to bargain, convince and corrupt you to do or not to do things you feel. Especially, when it comes to a challenge it gave me beautiful excuse to skip and escape. 

Snooze and escape to be more accurate. 

Everyday at the dawn of actuality, the critical battle to open my eyes, alarmed my senses to think twice.

"To go or not to go"

But when coincidence or concurrent events correspond to each other comfort zone doesn’t count. As an odd one I joined a bunch of misfits on the start. Hoping the journey would be smooth, my mind flickered to fit in. It started revealing itself with a regional tinge accompanied by other individual intellects inside the bus. Flicker turned into fickleness.  To add some awkwardness it opened up. 

"Just let it go”

"Buzzzzz"

The bus got broke down. As everyone stepped down, the temperature came down with some serene smiles. A rhythmic movement to the nearby waterfall kindled our hunger for more nature and vadapav. The first purpose got served. 

The second unexpected purpose got served too - waterfalls broke my vow of not taking a bath on weekends. 

When the new bus arrived, again we all gathered our consciousness and anticipation for a mind-blowing surprise - Monteria. 

"To join or not to join”

When we reached Monteria - we had team games and adventure sports. 

Though we inspire to become a leader, true leadership comes from with in. True teamwork is discovered in the process. On the process of fun and entertainment we all found our appetite to sync together. Each and every personality introduced the other one defining togetherness with tantrums. 

Together everyone achieved more. (TEAM)

"To stop or not to stop”

With a dose of ethanol and a dash of adrenaline your mind never minds for action.

With water inside and outside my barrage of sizzling steps took me to my trance. 

Wow…. we went in harmony. 

"Pelvic thrust…. wave…..pop and lock and pelvic thrust”

Finally, with all these ingredients I learned to go one step beyond my mind. I went in ease. 

“Party Animal"

While going back soothing strings of mozart resurrected the Devil. Right back from the last temptation, the thirst continues here.

The thirst for new quest.